Gays, lesbian and bisexual youth (GLB) have fewer suicide attempts if their parents are neutral or even mildly supportive according to a study released today in the Journal of Pediatrics. That is not surprising. Adolescence is a time of intense peer pressure to conform and given that sexuality resides at the core of identity it is not surprising that suicide rates are 8.5 times greater among GLB youth than their heterosexual peers.

Parents are instrumental in  helping adolescents develop self esteem. Fear of rejection or physical violence by a parent immediately removes the primary safety net a child has.  Do parents need reminding that their children look to them for protection, validation and love? Even with parental support, GLBs struggle more with acceptance than do their heterosexual counterparts.

Trying to change their son or daughter’s sexual orientation or not allowing them to be with other GLB youth were inidicators of parental acceptance or rejection. The study found that parental neutrality significantly lessened the likelihood of suicide attempt. Caitlin Ryan, the lead researcher, reported, ”Parents thought that by trying to change them, that would make them happy. But actually it put their children at great risk,” Ryan says. “When we shared that with parents, they were shocked.”

Parents may not readily embrace the fact that their child is gay, bisexual or lesbian. The important message to convey is that although they may not understand their child’s sexual orientation, they are willing to remain open to an ongoing dialogue as both learn to navigate the challenges of love. For the challenges associated with transgender youth, read “Drugs Block Puberty in Gender Confused Kids“.